2007 Predictions in Haiku

Ah, 2006. I barely had a chance to know ye. Our time was fleeting, as all the years have been. You brought us joy, you brought us pain, you brought us all we could fit into 365 days. But now your time is coming to a close. The champagne is being chilled and 2007 is nipping at our heels. So farewell, dear '06. Although short lived, our time together has been, in the words of Grand Moff Tarkin, "charming to the last."

Of course, as the year comes to a close, numerous sites across these Internets will inundate us with highlights, lowlights, and things you just didn't care to remember about 2006. Here at The Serious Tip I am going to give you something different. Something a little more risky. Something you can hold me to. I am going to attempt to predict the future - what will happen in 2007. Of course, to make it both more interesting and ambiguous, my predictions will be in haiku verse.

Two thousand seven
The year in sports I will tell
More right than Swami

The great annoyance
T.O. barks loudly often
Yet his bite is weak

Big Mac sits at home
Cooperstown does not appear
on caller I.D.

NFL Network
No more games without viewers
Failed experiment

With South Beach title
Big Aristotle walks away
For Kazaam part two

Soccer dad loses grip
Goalie did not let son score
Yet dad shoots no one

Isiah the Bad
Less terrible than '06
Dolan says coach on

Sadaharu Oh
Home run champ forever
Bonds/ Aaron feud scars hits

Britney like friend Paris
Oops I see a star player
Dating a pop star

Zito the Great
Overshadowed by Barry's head
Wins equal losses

Clemens, Favre retire
Become pitchmen on TV
Won't they go away?

Hockey on Versus
The ratings microscopic
Soon goals on the Deuce

There you are. Some of the highlights of 2007 before they happen. When the twilight of '07 arrives feel free to put my feet to the fire. Will I be correct? Am I a modern-day Nostradamus? Or could an Us Weekly-reading housewife out-predict me?

Before I take off and call it quits for the year, I'd like to share this:

Another year lingers to an end;
Heaven sends a bitter frost.
Fallen leaves cover the mountain
And there are no travelers to cast shadows on the path.
Endless night: dried leaves burn slowly on the hearth.
Occasionally, the sound of freezing rain.
Dizzy, I try to recall the past-
Nothing here but dreams.
- Ryokan (1758?-1831)

See you in '07.


- Jordi