Remembering Sammy Khalifa

Twenty years ago today Sammy Khalifa played his last major league game.

Two and a half years later, his father, Rashad Khalifa, was killed, allegedly by Muslim extremists with ties to Al-Qaeda.

As a part-time shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates from 1985 to 1987, Khalifa hit .219 and had an unremarkable career .579 OPS. But it wasn't in the batter's box where Khalifa made his mark: in a sport long in tradition and pioneers, Sammy Khalifa was the first Arab-American and Muslim-American in the major leagues.

Surprisingly, there is little celebrating Sammy Khalifa as a sports pioneer. Although there have been prominent Arab-American athletes in other sports (Doug Flutie, Rony Seiklay, etc.), Sammy Khalifa stands as the one and only major league baseball player with roots in the Middle East.

Fortunately, the career of the first Arab-American to play in the majors was long over before the Khalifa name would again make headlines. In 1989, a group of religious scholars in Saudi Arabia issued a fatwa (religious edict) against both the father of Sammy Khalifa and author Salman Rushdie. (Rushdie also had a previous edict pronounced against him four days earlier by the Supreme Ruler of Iran.) Whereas Rushdie escaped assasination by living under police custody, Rashad Khalifa was not so lucky. According to Wikipedia, "he (Khalifa) was stabbed 29 times and his body drenched in xylol but not set alight" because of his establishment of religious sect he called the "Submitters". Again according to Wikipedia, the Submitters' doctrine stemmed from Khalifa's own interpretations of the Qur'an, including mathematical research into the religious text. Some still consider the Submitters to be a cult with no base in traditional Islam.

Currently, Sammy Khalifa lives in the Tucson area, no longer affliated with baseball.

Looking back, it is difficult to imagine the saga of the Khalifas playing out today. What if Sammy Khalifa had a longer, more distinguished major league career? How would his career have been effected by September 11th, 2001? What if, along with Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn, we recently inducted the first Arab-American ballplayer into the Baseball Hall of Fame? Could Sammy Khalifa have been a bridge to ease the current tension between the West and the Islamic World?

As further developments arise in the death of former NFL player-turned-soldier Pat Tillman, it might be time to take a moment and remember Sammy Khalifa, the first Arab-American baseball player and the first athlete with ties to the war on terror.

Can the NFL Survive the Mike Vick Case?

It's late so I am resorting to the bullet style, a rapid technique known for its swift blows of knowledge and analysis.

Notes on the Michael Vick arraignment:

- Is it any surprise he plead not guilty? Anyone who thought he was going to plead guilty is a moron. Pleading not guilty allows the defense to plea bargain if necessary. And besides, Vick isn't spending all that money on attorneys to say guilty and then go home. You know Vick wasn't going to go out like Ice Cube:

Gettin excited, indicted / Spent a grip and a year tryin to fight it / Lawyer got paid; plea, no contest / Cause everything I own, got repossessed

- Now where does this leave the NFL? The league has to make a decision on Vick's future quick. They have to take a stand and punish Vick before the Falcons do. Any other way and they would be looked at as "soft" and hypocritical. How can they suspend Tank Johnson and PacMan Jones but not Michael Vick? And they have to beat the Falcons to the punch. Arthur Blank cannot look tougher than Roger Goodell. My guess: either the whole season or six games.

Why six games? Because it is more than the four the Falcons can suspend him for (and you know Arthur Blank would have no qualms in doing) but less than half the season. After all, Vick is innocent until proven guilty. Why not eight and cut his season in half? Because his trial is during week 12, giving him a whopping three games to play. That is unfairly punishing the Falcons who undoubtedly would want to field the best talent, and last I looked Michael Vick > Joey Harrington.

- The NFL couldn't ask for a better opponent for the Falcons the week Michael Vick goes to court than Peyton Manning and the Colts. The best the league can hope for is another one of those 10-0 Colt starts to take some of the mention off the impending Vick trial. The worst thing that could happen is for Peyton Manning not to play. This game needs his star power.

- Like Major League Baseball, the WWE, and the NBA, the NFL will survive. It survived Ray Lewis and Rae Carruth. It survived O.J. Simpson. And their trials were about the deaths of people. The trial of Michael Vick will do little to slow the commercial and social juggernaut that is the NFL.

Of course, the predicament of the NFL could be worse; it could be plagued by scandal and be nationally irrelevant. It could be professional cycling.


This ends this week's week of social commentary and scandal examination. Hope you dug it. Enjoy your weekend.

Can the NBA survive the crooked referee?

David Stern called him a "rogue, isolated criminal". He's been tarred, feathered, crucified, and pretty much gibbeted in the media. Never has one man set the perception of honesty and league integrity back so far. But can the NBA recover? Or is the carnage inflicted by Tim Donaghy so vast that the league will lose credibility and relevancy among its fans?

If any can professional sports organization can survive an attack on its basic covenant with the fans, it is the NBA. The league has perhaps the largest footprint of any sports organization in the world. More so than baseball players or football players, NBA stars are bigger than life. They aspire to be global icons. They have become global icons. Do you think the millions of fans Yao Ming has brought to the game will stop watching because of one referee? The NBA has made itself such a global entity, no one man, short of David Stern himself, can destroy it. Fan overlap will ensure its continued success.

My guess is that few fans will be completely turned off to the NBA because of the Tim Donaghy scandal. Those who weren't fans because of poor officiating and pandering to stars will be more solidified in their view points, but those who are fans will continue to pass through the gates. Even the sometimes fan, who only attends when a favorite player is in town or when their favorite television show is airing a re-run, will not turn away from the NBA because of one bad referee. They will come to see the show. A spectacle of athletic achievement performed by some the greatest athletes in the world. While they care about the score, they will not focus on it as the die-hard fan does. The die-hard fan who will stay a fan through thick and thin.

The NBA will be fine. If the gambling scandal involved a few players, or all the referees, then I would be worried. But until then, all David Stern has to ensure is that the actions of his "rogue" referee stay isolated.

See my take on the scandal of steroids in professional wrestling here.

See my take on the scandal of steroids in baseball here.

Tomorrow: why the charges against Michael Vick won't effect the NFL and the sport whose scandal strikes the deepest.

Can the WWE Survive Its Steroid Problem?

By now everyone knows the seriousness of steroids in professional wrestling. Chris Benoit revealed an ugly truth the WWE had been hiding for years. The upper levels of professional wrestling have been infested by the scourge of steroids. But although steroids have been responsible for the death of many individuals, and now their loved ones, is it enough to kill professional wrestling as a whole?

Yesterday I looked at the use of steroids in baseball. Like baseball players, wrestlers use steroids to help them recover from the grueling wear and tear placed on their bodies by their sport. In order to be successful at the top-most level, a wrestler must subject himself to countless days of travel, performing, working out, more travel, and more performing. They are the traveling circus of our day. But in this show however, the lions and tigers are dying before our very eyes.

Comparatively, the steroid issue in wrestling is worse than that in baseball, despite media attention that might infer the opposite. The breaking of records pales in comparison to the destroying of lives. Steroids are eating away at the very backbone of the wrestling industry – the performers themselves. Baseball as only had one such “casualty” in Rafael Palmeiro, who although in perfect health, had his career destroyed by a positive steroid test. Wrestlers could only be so lucky.

Can the WWE survive with its talent and former talents consistently making headlines by dying before their time? Although I would like to say no, I believe wrestling has little to worry about. Wrestling, although it has its hall of fames, does not carry on tradition as the major sports do, so legends are seen rarely, if ever, after their careers end. Out of sight, out of mind. In the case of current stars, again wrestling’s sideshow image plays to its advantage. By not being a major sport, and by filling a niche instead of a demand, wrestling buys itself anonymity. An anonymity that disappears the day tragedy strikes, but returns to hide the dark secrets of the WWE and the upper levels of professional wrestling in due time.

See my take on steroids in baseball here.

Tomorrow: Can the NBA survive the biased referee?

Can baseball survive the steroid era?

Giambi, Palmeiro, Sosa, McGwire, Bonds, Boone, Ivan Rodriguez. The names and the accusations go on and on. Baseball in the late 20th and early 21st centuries will forever be looked upon as the era of steroids.

But how bad is the steroids question to major league baseball? Will the game survive after Bonds passes Hank Aaron? Or will the game forever be marred by the cream and the clear?

As bad as steroid usage might have been or might continue to be, it will not cause the end of baseball. Baseball has suffered bigotry, gambling, labor disputes, and two world wars. Baseball has suffered countless cheaters, stubborn owners, and weak commissioners. Yet the game goes on.

Of course, there is no doubt the performances of the modern era will have ramifications on the storied history of the game. The most obvious example of this is in the category of career home runs. When we think of Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth, we attach a story to the numbers, the legend of their personas. For Ruth, we recall the beer, the broads, and the brats. We think of a man larger than life, a personification of the swinging 1920s. Our memories of Hank Aaron, although quite different, are just as strong. We remember class, consistency, ability, and the strength to stand through the evil storm of racism.

Later this season, these men will be replaced by Barry Bonds, a player popular opinion would have us believe is the cold, aloof, stand-offish, possibly chemically-enhanced stereotype of all that is wrong with baseball. To root for Bonds is to root for Rocky IV’s Ivan Drago. Ironic, however, is the fact that although we love our technology, our iPods and iPhones, our HDTVs and our MP3s, we are cringing at the possibility of our hallowed records being approached and soon to be surpassed with the aid of modern science. For this, we yearn for a simpler time.

Yet Bonds's impact on the game, when looked at in context of the game itself, is minimal, if not nonexistent. We must remember, we as fans create these numbers, these records, to amuse ourselves. They mean little other than to recognize those who have lasted and achieved. They do not win the game, nor do they contribute to a player's ability to perform.

Baseball will survive the steroid era. It is not the worst scandal to ever disrupt the game, and it will not be the last. The game will march on. And although the most cherished of records may fall, the basic fundamentals of the game will remain, unsoiled by the attempts of modern chemistry. Hitters will still have to hit, pitchers will still pitch, runners will still run, fielders will still field, and fans will still cheer.

What's the bigger scandal?

Needless to say, this summer has not been good for the heads of major sporting leagues. With all the legal drama surrounding the NFL, the cloud of steroids still permeating above Major League Baseball and Professional Wrestling, and NBA officiating no longer on the up and up, life for NHL commissioner Gary Bettman must seem pretty good these days. All he has to worry about is finding people to watch his league next season.

But which of the recent major scandals is the most damaging? As Barry Bonds closes in on Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, is steroids in baseball worse than steroids in wrestling? What about referee partiality? While having no effect on the physical being of players, having zebras on the paybooks tears at the very fabric of competition. The rule of fans has always been let the players cheat if they can, but those who judge should be fair. Until now.

Starting Tuesday, I am going to compare and contrast these crimes against sports, taking one each day and hopefully coming to a conclusion on which sin I think is the most heinous and most damaging to its respective sport.

Comments are always welcome of course, however, dissenters may be ignored and/or banished from the land.

(Ok, the caption image has nothing to do with the post. I was looking for zebras in google images for the referee-zebra connection and found it. On second thought, a little Tim Donaghy mixed with Chris Benoit and Barry Bonds, perhaps?)

Flip the Script Friday: Meet Alternate End

Welcome to another "Flip the Script Friday". Although The Serious Tip has been primarily a sports-related blog since its inception, on any given Friday I "flip the script" and blog about whatever I so desire. Today I am going introduce you to a band I hold near and dear to my heart, Illinois-based rock band Alternate End.

I'm a big fan of things local. I like local shops, local bookstores, local pizzarias, local breweries, and local stripclubs. If it's local, I'll give it a shot. Support your local businesses, right? Nowhere is my penchant for localness more evident however, than with local bands. Although I haven't really gotten into the Tampa scene yet, every other place I have lived I knew some of the best bands to go see.

With this in mind, and because it's Flip the Script Friday and it's my day to blog about whatever I feel, I'd like to present an interview I did with a local band from Illinois. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Alternate End.

(Before you ask, why are you interviewing a band from Illinois? Aren't you from Florida? Yes, I am from the Sunshine State. But I've known two of these guys for over ten years. They were there for my first shot of liquor (hey man, this ain't no sippin' tea!) and they were there when a stripper punched me in the family jewels (get up bitch!). So I interviewed them. Enjoy.)

Alternate End is:
Scot Schaumburg (Rifftageous Guitar, Backing Vocals)
David Burdick (Lead Vocals, Drums)
Aaron O’Claire (Lead Guitar, Harmonica)
Shelby Martin (Bass, Backing Vocals)
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The Serious Tip: Who is Alternate End?

Aaron O'Claire: Alternate End is a cutting edge alternative Chicago-land group which consists of four members. Aaron O'Claire, Scott Schaumburg, Shelby Martin, and David Burdick.

Shelby Martin: Alternate End is a musical band comprised of four white middle class average dudes.

David Burdick: A band.

TST: How did you guys form? When?

Scot Schaumburg: I got out of the army I asked Shelbs to move up here to go to school with me. After that Shelbs and I met Aaron through the veteran's fraternity. A little later we met this quirky drummer working at a bowling alley. Eventually we decided to learn how to play instruments and start a band. The rest is history.

Burdick: My parents got together one day (approximately July of 1981) and decided to make a baby, if I need to explain the logistics of it from there let me know.

O'Claire: We formed by random chance in April 2001.

Martin: We got together while we all attended Northern Illinois University. The band formed after we found out that we all had an interest in playing music.

TST: How did you come up with the name Alternate End?

Schaumburg: Band name was originally PrAnk. Good name that fit us at the time but we went through some changes that lead us to the name Alternate End. Alternate End is in reference too not knowing how things will end up.

Burdick: PrAnK was not serious enough, we had some restructuring of the band, wanted to make a bad ass road sign, ended up with Alternate End.

O'Claire: It took a series of months. Each of us came up with at least 20 different names and passed around our lists to each other. We then crossed out the ones that we didn't like.

Martin: We thought about Alternate Route like in a detour but we came up with Alternate End. It sounds better.

TST: Influences as musicians? As a band?

Schaumburg: Wow. I guess you could call them influences although I am not nearly as good as them but my favorite musicians are Tom Morello, Tim Salt, and Jerry Cantrell. Favorite bands Doors, Pearl Jam, and Beatles.

Burdick: Dave Matthews Band, Maroon 5, Marvin Gaye, Jazz.

O'Claire: Dave Matthews Band, Weezer, Jimi Hendrix.

Martin: Personally I am strongly influenced by Primus, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nine-Inch Nails. As a band we all draw from multiple influences.

TST: Memories of your first show?

Schaumburg: Ahhh first show, I guess that is debatable. I remember our first being a pig roast at Aaron's house. We didn't have a PA so we sang through a bass amp. No one could hear the vocals but that was probably for the best. Dave bought us matching hats.

Burdick: The Chef was the shit, that guy is probably cracked out lying face down in a ditch somewhere. Oh yeah, and Shampoo girl was called the Harmonica Song.

O'Claire: We used to stand our amps on old beer kegs and sang through a Peavy bass amp head that was connected to some 15 speakers Shelby bought from Chuck Mitchell (Joni Mitchell's ex-husband).We had a small crowd and we sucked, but it was fun at the time.

Martin: We started by playing a party for our fraternity. Some dude just walks in wearing a chef's Hat. He jumps on the mic and starts rapping or some shit. It was hilarious.

TST: Most memorable show?

Schaumburg: First headlining show at Otto's main stage. It was over Christmas break at school and campus was dead but for some reason the place was packed. A lot of great energy and the show rocked. Once in an interview Aaron said that he wanted to play the main stage at Otto's so I guess that was the pinnacle of our career.

Burdick: Playing in Keokuk and having my stick break during playing a fundraiser for Shelby's aunt. Only time in my career a stick has broken during a gig.

O'Claire: Probably the Maple Ave pub. Everyone was really into us and had a great time.

Martin: Our most memorable show has to be playing the benefit for my Aunt who passed away.

TST: Favorite fan story?

Schaumburg: Opening for Monky Cocktail in Indiana. Aaron hooked up with some chick that we saw at a restaurant the next day wearing the same clothes. I guess you could call her a fan.

Burdick: The girl in Valporaiso, IN hitting on me being passed on to Scoot, then being passed on to O'Claire and finally her making out with O'Claire. Then seeing her the next day at breakfast, in the same clothing.

O'Claire: Having bras thrown at us when we playing a show at a theater.

TST: Favorite Alternate End (or PrAnk) song? Why?

Schaumburg: My favorite is probably College Blues. It is the best collection of music, lyrics, and vocals that represents us in my opinion.

Burdick: I am a fan of College Blues, I think out of all of the songs we play it is O'Claire's least sucky guitar performance, and the song itself is very catchy.

O'Claire: Shampoo Girl. Hilarious. My little Elliott brother who was in high school at the time walked up to me and said, "Dude, when I've been fucking my girlfriend lately I can't feel anything." He was dating a ballerina at the time. I said to him, "What are you talking about? She's like a 105 pounds soaking wet." He said, "Well she's been telling me that she's been masturbating in the shower with a shampoo bottle." My jaw dropped. I said, "Are you fucking kidding me?" and just started laughing. I told the guys about it, and we wrote that song about the story.

Martin: My favorite song is Inner Voices. It is real dark and cool. We never play it though.

TST: Albums released? New releases coming out?

Schaumburg: Songs by PrAnk, Four and a High Chair, Alternate End EP. We are always working on new material.

Burdick: Kinda. Maybe.

O'Claire: We've self-released three albums, and are currently working on new material for a fourth.

Martin: We have three albums. One of those is only a five song demo that has two of our previously recorded songs on it.

TST: How can people check you guys out if they can't see you live?

Schaumburg: Our myspace, our website.

Martin: Join our mailing list.

TST: Last comments, shout-outs, announcements, etc?

Schaumburg: Peace, we're out of here.

Burdick: A:F6 and I love you, Scoot.

Martin: I want to give a shout out to Dave Chapelle, holla.

Take me back to South Tallahassee

Six years at Florida State have finally started to pay off: I recently finished profiling my alma mater for the College Rule Notebook, a blog "dedicated to exploring the unique history and traditions of our institutions of higher learning".

Check out my take on the geography, traditions, and esteemed fellow graduates of Florida State University.

Ah, the cameo. A simple way to ensure visability without having to do much work.

A big thanks goes Extra P, the brains behind the College Rule Notebook.

While I am on the subject of Florida State, may I present a visual comparison,

1956




















2006

Ah, the joy of progress.

What if ESPN interviewed other World Leaders?

Last weekend at the White House T-Ball Game, Karl Ravech of ESPN interviewed U.S. President Geroge Bush on the subject of sports. Like his father before him, and Richard Nixon before him, George W. Bush has made no secret he is a baseball fan, admitting to watching Baseball Tonight quite often, and even once holding an ownership stake in the Texas Rangers.

During his interview with Ravech, Bush comes across as quite personable and knowledgable. When Ravech asks him about the controversial topic of Barry Bonds and his pursuit of Hank Aaron's home run record President Bush, to his credit, gives a pretty decent answer. Bush explained that when all is said and done, he believes Bonds will judged fairly. All in all, a good interview of a World Leader by the Worldwide Leader.

But what if ESPN could interview other heads of state? Would the questions be as open to opinion? Or would they ask sugar-coated questions with the hopes of not starting an international incident?

Because one of the goals of The Serious Tip is to one day start a tiff of international proportions, here are my suggestions of what ESPN should ask different heads of state across the world:

To Prime Minister Gordon Brown (United Kingdom):
"Mr. Prime Minister, do you believe the United States should pay a heavy import tax before American teams can sign English soccer football players, especially those who may be members of the English National Team?"

To Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki:
"Do you feel that any urbanization effort on the part of Kenya would detract from the nation's lock on marathon events, as Kenyans would be more likely to live in cities and take buses and taxi cabs instead of running everywhere?"

To German Chancellor Angela Merkel:
"What is the German government's plan to take care of all the newly unemployed members of the nation's NFL Europe teams?"

To Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf:
"Is there any truth to the rumor that a member of the Pakistani National Cricket team used the cream and the clear?"

To Australian Prime Minister John Howard:
"Would you be accepting of PacMan Jones on an Australian Rugby Team, being that parts of Australia were once used as a British penal colony anyway?"

To Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper:
"If a sport is played in Canada and no American cared, did it really happen?"

To Zamundian King Jaffe Joffer:
"Since it has been nearly 20 years since Prince Semi Akeem became enamored with St. John's Basketball and started a national team upon his return, when do you think your nation's team will be ready for international competition?"

(Last minute correction: according to this video, King Jaffe Jaffer was overthrown in 1997. Not sure who is in charge now.)

Ban Steroids of the Mind

A few years ago, way back when I was still a student at Florida State, I wrote a letter to our esteemed student newspaper alerting them of a possible breach in the academic code of conduct. In my opinion, the opportunity for rampant cheating had encroached itself on the FSU campus. Only through a systematic approach, I argued, could the reputation of Florida State University remain in high regard. As this dilemma still courses through the veins of academia, and as its physical parallel still permeates our sports discussions, I would like to share my letter to the editor of the FSView and Florida Flambeau, dated January 10, 2005.
--------------------------------

Ban Steroids of the Mind

Dear Editor,

As a long-time student and possible alumnus of our fine academic institution I would like to alert my fellow students of a plague that could affect our university's credibility.

I recently witnessed a television commercial for a product called Focus Factor, described as having the ability to both enhance memory power and increase intellect. This is obviously one of many such products on the market today. In light of the recent "doping" scandals involving professional athletes such as Barry Bonds and Olympic stars such as Marion Jones, we can not let mental enhancers such as Focus Factor permeate our intellectual environment as physical enhancers have invaded the world of sports.

Similar to growth enhancement products, mental enhancers promote an unfair advantage and distort the academic "playing field". Whereas neither physical nor mental supplements provide magical results without at least a level of skill or subject understanding, the similarities between these products are quite eerie.

We must prevent the use of memory and intellectual enhancers now before their use becomes epidemic and destroys the Florida State academic prestige we hold dear. In response to this potential disaster I propose a simple plan I call Operation CREME LA Drugs (Condemnation, Restriction, and Education of Mind Enhancers and Legislation Against drugs).

The first step in condemnation and restriction is, of course, punishment. Prior to every major exam or finals week a university-wide urinalysis should be given. Evidence of recreational drug use is obviously of no concern. Users of intellectual drugs, however, should be prosecuted to the full extent of the academic code. Any student admitting to intellectual drug use, either past or current, should have asterisks placed on their transcripts besides the grade point averages and their degrees of distinction, where applicable, should be stripped. Imagine the embarrassment a user would feel during a job interview as a prospective employer looks over a glowing transcript blemished by asterisks.

As for education, the university should employ the Real Project (note: the Real Project was a campus-wide campaign against student alcohol abuse - JS) to spread a variety of slogans such as "All Skills, No Pills" and discourage students from using products that would give them an unfair advantage over their peers. Maybe once a majority of students are aware of the "cheating" available through intellectual drugs we can again be a bastion of protest, boycotting producers and camping out on Landis Green.

Legislation against memory enhancers and intellect increasers may be more difficult. However, with many students working in the capitol complex, I am sure we can bend the ear of several legislators. Like Sen. John McCain and the growth hormone issue, perhaps Gov. Bush could support a strong stand furthering our cause.

In closing, I would like to propose a university-wide petition demanding the administration and the student government enact Operation CREME LA Drugs and enact an outright ban on these products.

If only I can remember where I put my petition form and my pen.

Jordi Scrubbings
---------------------------

Unfortunately, my plea fell on deaf ears.

A sports-themed commerical I would like to see

A few weeks ago I was watching TV and saw a new commercial for ING Financial Services. (Yes, I still watch commercials. Yes, I am still living in the 20th century.) In this ad, a cat was stuck in a tree and, despite the best efforts of numerous people, no one could rescue the trapped feline. After a short while, a woman sitting nearby on an ING bench opened a can of cat food, the cat scampered down, and the problem was solved. The morale of the story being that life is easier thanks to ING.

Prior to its release, ING issued a press release explaining the ad, stating,

the spot emphasizes that the secret to making life easier could be as simple as choosing ING for your financial services.

The press release also described the importance of the ING bench to the company.

A unifying symbol in ING’s campaign is the iconic ING Bench. The ING Bench is a respite or safe vantage point in the advertisements to observe all manner of human truths and represents that trusting your financial security and future with ING – things truly are easier.

Since ING started advertising in the U.S. in 2001, the ING bench has been a staple in their campaigns. The company icon however, has yet to be tapped to its full potential. This "safe vantage point" can easily be translated into the world of sports.

Imagine a commercial in which an amateur baseball/softball pitcher can do nothing right. He walks batter after batter, gives up hit after hit, and may even hit a batter or two. As we watch, the voice of ING tells us that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, some things just don't go our way. Then as our protagonist is pulled from the game and takes a seat in the dugout, the voice tells us that "sometimes, life is easier on the bench"; the dugout bench, of course, having the ING lion logo on it.

Using the ING bench as a sports bench could also be used in sports such as basketball or hockey, again preferably on the pick-up/amateur level. Making sure to emphasize amateur sports would better identify with the "common person" and emphasize the sport as a hobby, not their career. Also possible is the inference that ING is a professional financial group, and if the common person can struggle hitting a ball, or making a basket, imagine how worse-off they might be with their financial future.

Personally, I'd like to think whereas the cat in a tree ad asked, “what’s easier, getting a cat unstuck from a tree or planning your financial future?”, these sports-based ING ads could ask "what's easier, being the next (Nolan Ryan, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretsky) or planning your financial future?". The answer to both being planning your financial future, as long as you do it with ING.

Now I am far from an advertising guru, but I think this idea has potential. Agree? Disagree?

(Disclaimer: I don't work for ING, nor do I know anyone employed by them. I just think this is a cool idea. And ING, if you read this and use my idea, a little slice of the profits would be nice. - Jordi)

13 links for those not suffering from paraskevidekatriaphobia

Honestly, Friday the 13th never scared me. The movie, yeah, but not the actual day itself. After breaking a mirror when I was 14 and suffering through seven years of social ineptitude, I stopped being scared of silly superstitions. However, in honor of all that is unlucky, for all the black cats, pentagrams, and triple sixes, here are 13 links to get your weekend started right.

1) The illustrious Jack Cobra scored an interview with a guru of baseball mechanics: Carlos Gomez. Solid. I definitely have to check out Gomez's work, especially if he has the Cobra seal of approval. (The Cobra Brigade)

2) MetsBlog wants to know: who is the Mets' best all-time first baseman and second baseman? Personally, I wanted Dave Magadan and Keith Miller, but they weren't options. (MetsBlog)

3) The Redneck Games came and went last week and almost slipped by me, that is if Deuce of Davenport didn't show a little love to the southern athletically (and verbally) challenged. (Deuce of Davenport)

4) Can anyone explain to me how the NCAA can just erase Oklahoma's 2005 record? What happens to those games? Do they not exist? Do they become wins for the other teams? What about the Oklahoma entry in the College Football Encyclopedia? Does it read 2005: 0-0? Or maybe 0-13? These are the things I wonder about. (ESPN)

5) Rickey Henderson is the new Mets batting coach. As a Mets fan, I don't know whether to be concerned or excited. I feel like break dancin'. People might make fun of Rickey, and with good reason of course, but he is still one of the four best left fielders of all-time (Ted Williams, Barry Bonds, Rickey, and Stan Musial in no particular order). And name another athlete since Ali who talked the talk like Rickey and backed it up. (Newsday, The Dugout)

6) Former Seminole Al Thornton signed with the Clippers this week. Now that his number is official, I should have his jersey in the near future. (Thanks to Emily Badger's Nole Blog for the heads up on this.)

7) Speaking of college sports, the University of Michigan left their Nike endorser and switched to adidas. I wonder if any other schools will follow suit. During my time at FSU, there was a huge tent live-in on the campus protesting Nike's labor practices and FSU's affiliation with them. Sure enough the hippies were told to evacuate and FSU is still with Nike. I wonder if any of those same hippies migrated to Michigan. (Lion In Oil)

8) The Extrapolater recently had a really good article on the Disneyfication of sports published in the Chicago Sports Weekly. Reading it brought to mind an article I read in a recent National Geographic on Disney's influence over the Orlando area. (The Extrapolater, National Geographic)

(Admittance: I own stock in Disney. Not much, but enough to have to claim. To paraphrase Luke Skywalker: "It's not that I like the Empire; I hate it. But there is nothing I can do about it right now ... except use their dividends and my capital gains to fuel my own multi-media juggernaut."

9) A lot of people have expressed outrage and disgust at the new Coors Light commercials featuring the recently defeated Takeru Kobayashi. Personally, I like Thunder Matt's Saloon's take. (Deadspin, Simon On Sports, Thunder Matt's Saloon)

10) While researching the slow-pitch softball home run record for my Barry Bonds post earlier this week, I discovered the athletic legend that is Dot Wilkinson. Not only is Wilkinson in the Softball Hall of Fame, she is also in the United States Bowling Congress Hall of Fame. There aren't many athletes (male or female) who can claim membership in two distinct halls of fame (Jim Thorpe comes to mind). Kudos to the unheralded, underappreciated Ms. Wilkinson. She should win one of those ESPY Lifetime Awards or something.

11) Now I am not one to tell you what you should watch. Hell, most nights my tv is tuned into a ball game and I'll have no idea what is on any other channel. But, the other night, the infamous "Night Without Sports", I watched "Bodog's Battle of the Bands" on Fuse. If you like different types of music, I suggest tuning in each Wednesday at 10pm. I am not telling you what you should or shouldn't watch, just recommending. Some of those bands are pretty damn good. (Bodog.tv)

12) A big tip of the cap to Dan Steinberg of DC Sports Bog for linking to my Barry Bonds post.

13) And finally, a tribute to the man who made today famous: the one and only Mr. Jason Voorhees.

Enjoy your weekend.

Barry Bonds has a long way to go

As the 2007 baseball season marches into its second half, one of the biggest stories will of course be Barry Bonds's pursuit of 756 home runs. Now more a question of "when" rather than "if", Bonds will soon pass Hank Aaron as major league baseball's career home run leader.

Not to take anything away from Mr. Bonds, but passing Hank Aaron does not make anyone the best home run hitter of all-time. Not even close. As a matter of fact, Bonds will only move into 8th place when he hits number 756.

A look at those who rounded the bases more frequently:

7) Josh Gibson - Josh Gibson is considered by many to be the most prolific home run hitter in Negro League history. Rumor has it he hit between 800 and 1000 home runs. Unfortunately, because many Negro League games went undocumented and Gibson played in many unofficial scrimmages and barnstorming games, his true home run total may never be known.

However, taking what is considered his accurate home run per at bat ratio of 15.9, assuming in his travels he had 700 at bats a year (44 home runs), and figuring he played 18 seasons as a professional (16 in the Negro Leagues), Gibson would have ended with 792 homers. Short of 800, but more than Hank Aaron's 755.

6) Sadaharu Oh - Sadaharu Oh is the Japanese professional league career home run leader with 868. Although many have claimed the level in a league where former major league journeymen like Tuffy Rhodes can hit 55 home runs is not of equal measure, Oh's endurance through 21 years speaks volumes to his greatness.

5) Gene Fisher - Amateur Softball Hall of Famer Gene Fisher was one of the greatest hitters of the 1970s. According to his ASA profile, from 1970-1983, Fisher averaged .558 and drove home over 2,000. For his 24-year career, Fisher hit approximately 3,000 home runs.

4) Bruce Meade - (pictured on right) Another prolific softball slugger, Bruce Meade not only hit a home run into the upper deck of the Houston Astrodome, he also holds the record for longest distance for a softball home run (510 feet). For his career, Meade hit more than 3,500 homers, including a career best 247 in 1981.

3) Don Clatterbough - Slugger extraordinaire, Clatterbough was inducted into the Amateur Softball Association Hall of Fame in 2001. Modestly described as "a tough out", Clatterbough was a five-time ASA first team All-American and supposedly hit between 3,500 and 4,000 home runs.

2) Rick Scherr - Throughout the 1980s, no one hit home runs more frequently than Rick "The Crusher" Scherr. During what would be the best stint of his career, Scherr averaged a home run every 2.3 at bats and hit over .700. When his career ended after the 1991 season, Scherr counted over 4,000 home runs to his credit.

1) Don Arndt - For over three decades Don Arndt terrorized softball pitchers with his "fluid, graceful, almost effortless swing". Playing his entire career with Howard’s Furniture-Western Steer of Denver, NC, Arndt hit a career-high 309 home runs in 1985 at the age of 50. He ended his career with almost 7,000 home runs.

At the rate he is going (1 HR per 12.9 ABs and 441 ABs per year), Barry Bonds would have to average his 34 home runs for another 100 years to be in the same echelon as Meade, Clatterbough, Scherr, and Arndt. Think the mainstream media can stretch the steroids story that long?

Florida can cry foul with future All-Star Game locales

Next week Major League Baseball will play its 78th All-Star Game. This year's mid-summer gala will be held on Tuesday, July 10th at San Francisco's Pac Bell AT&T Park.

For some reason, I thought Pac Bell AT&T Park recently hosted the All-Star Game. Why would baseball put the All-Star in the same place twice in just a matter of years, I thought. Of course, I was wrong. But it got me thinking, what order does baseball use to select the host of the Mid-Summer Classic? Of course, as par for the course when dealing with Major League Baseball, there is no discernable pattern in deciding the All-Star game's location. However, in looking up the recent history of where the all-star game has been played, I did find a few unusual facts:

Did you know?
(most data courtesy of Wikipedia.org)

In the last thirty years (1977-2007) the following teams have hosted the all-star game twice:

San Diego Padres (1978, 1992)
Cleveland Indians (1981, 1997)
Seattle Mariners (1979, 2001)
Chicago White Sox (1983, 2003)
Houston Astros (1986, 2004)
Pittsburgh Pirates (1994, 2006)
San Francisco Giants (1984, 2007)

And the following teams have not hosted an all-star game in the last 30 years, if at all:

New York Mets (last all-star game: 1964)
St. Louis Cardinals (last all-star game: 1966)
Kansas City Royals (last all-star game: 1973)
Florida Marlins (entered league in 1993)
Arizona Diamondbacks (entered league in 1998)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays (entered league in 1998)

Oddly enough, the Yankees just missed making the latter list. The last all-star game played in Yankee Stadium was in 1977.

So what plans does Major League Baseball have to cycle the all-star game, and what city will probably wait the longest to host the Mid-Summer Classic? According to wikipedia, the plight of the New York Yankees and St. Louis Cardinals will be over soon, as the teams will play host to the All-Star Game in 2008 and 2009, respectively.

So we are left with the Mets, Royals, Marlins, Diamondbacks, and Devil Rays.

Royals - According to the Royals' website, the city of Kansas City's wait will soon be over as well. In March 2006, Bud Selig announced Kauffman Stadium will host the all-star game sometime between 2010 and 2014.

Mets - The Mets are an interesting case. Their new stadium, CitiField, is due to open a year after the Yankees open the new Yankee Stadium. Although Major League Baseball is smart to play the all-star game in New York in 2008, it would be foolish to have the same event in the same city anywhere near the next year. My guess is the Mets will have to wait three to five years after the Yankees to host their own mid-summer classic. Think 2011-2014.

Diamondbacks - Probably the most likely team to host the all-star game in 2010. Somewhat new stadium, resurgent team, original host, etc. Seems like a lock to me.

Before mentioning the either of the Florida teams, I'd like to guarantee an all-star game will be played in any or all of the "new" parks in Philadelphia, Cincinnati, or Washington at some time in the next eight years. Now we have the Yankees in '08, the Cardinals in '09, the D-Backs in '10, and the Royals somewhere between '11 and '14. Add the Nationals, Phillies, and Reds, and you have through 2014 booked. Then consider the soon-to-be over 30 years since Dodger Stadium, in one of the nation's largest markets, held the all-star game, and the schedule appears full until at least 2016.

So which Florida city will be last to host the all-star game? My guess is Tampa Bay. Because by the time Major League Baseball gets around to thinking about playing an all-star game in Florida, the Marlins' stadium lease will have expired, and without a new stadium, the team will be playing its home games in Portland, Las Vegas, or Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

(Disclaimer: I know the all-star game is supposed to alternate leagues, giving the Devil Rays a chance to host in 2010 or 2012. But if you think that is going to happen, I have five bridges in the Tampa Bay area to sell you.)

Happy Fourth of July

There was only one night game a year.
On the 4th of July...
the whole sky would brighten up with fireworks,
giving us just enough light for a game.
We played our best then because, I guess, we all felt like the big leaguers...
under the lights of some great stadium.
Benny felt like that all the time.
We all knew he was gonna go on to bigger and better games,
because every time we stopped to watch the sky on those nights like regular kids,
he was there to call us back.
You see, for us, baseball was a game.
But for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez,
baseball was life.

- The Sandlot

Joining forces with the AfroSquad

Many moons ago, in the ninth ever post on The Serious Tip, I wrote about The Man and his influence over the world of sports. Unbeknownest to me, but knowest to those who keep track of such things, my post made its way to the desk of the world famous AfroSquad. As I mentioned back in October, the AfroSquad are the eternal foils of The Man, a valiant group of big-haired funky warriors who have committed themselves to putting the kebosh on The Man's plans of global conquest.

Not too long after The Man's Influence on Sports was posted, the AfroSquad got in touch with me. They told me that thanks to NinjaPimp.com, the AfroSquad survived a diabolical attack by The Man and his need to close their original website. They lived on, they wrote, on myspace and with all new videos and their own wrestling promotion.

But where was the info on The Man?, I replied.

Then came an offer I could not refuse. An offer too good to be true. The AfroSquad wanted to know if I would write an article about The Man. The floor was mine, just keep it funky.

On July 1st, 2007, my first cross-venture with the AfroSquad hit the Intertubes. Swing on by the latest issue of the NinjaPimp Online Magazine, scroll down and midway on the left take a gander at my appropriately titled column, "Talkin' About The Man".

Enjoy.

"Talkin' About The Man" (Afro-Squad.com)

Cruisin' the Net: Ninja Beavers, Baseball Cards, the Bill Simmons of Horror, Washing your Butt, and the importance of Right Field

When I get to work my first hour is typically spent surfing the blogosphere. Usually my first reads are The Big Lead, Deadspin, The FanHouses, TrueHoop, and my favorite team-centric blogs. Then, depending on time and my boss's presence, I'll try to hit up any and all the sites on my blogroll (no time to list them all here - look right). Despite all the words, columns, articles, and headlines I read however, there is so much more I miss. Therefore I made it my mission this weekend to surf some of the web pages I don't normally visit and see what's out there.

First and foremost, I'd like to introduce one of the most scariest double entendres I've ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ninja Beaver wood grinding service. Here is the Ninja Beaver on the move. (Grand Rapids Photo Blog)

Sports links:

Like other kids of the '70s and '80s, I used to buy baseball cards by the thousands. Unfortunately, I stopped when collecting started to be more about the inserts than the players. After reading The Baseball Card Blog's live-blog of opening five packs of 2007 Topps however, I might have to buy myself a few packs. (The Baseball Card Blog)

Here is a really interesting interview with Keith Law, an ESPN writer I should be reading more frequently. (Lion In Oil)

Sports to Music:

Although I have over 500 CDs encompassing nearly every genre, the guy from FloodWatchMusic.com puts me to shame musically. Here is his top 10 non-essential jazz albums list. Of course, I have none. (FloodWatch Music)

More tune news: can Erykah Badu's sweet lovin' be the cure for what ails modern hip-hop? (The Nappy Diatribe)

Music to Television:

Remember MonsterVision on TNT? Many a Saturday night I used to come home from a night of drinking and turn on Joe Bob Briggs's commentary on campy horror flicks. Here's Joe Bob's Myspace page and the transcripts for each and every episode. These really need to be on DVD if they aren't already. And you know, it might be fair to say Joe Bob Briggs was/is to horror movies what Bill Simmons was/is to sports. Just read some of those transcripts if you disagree.

National Geographic has everything you ever wanted to know about the most badass animal on the planet, real Tazmanian Devils, including their fight with a cancer that is sadly killing them by the thousands. (National Geographic)

Television to Miscellaneous:

A professional ladyfriend reminds us if you are going to have company, please remember to wash your butt. (Lexy O Escort Blog)

I know it's only Monday, but it's never too early in thinking about alcohol. Let the Booze Blog help. (Booze Blog)

And finally, after years of searching, I finally found the commercial that fittingly describes my early years as a could-have-been Little League All-Star.

See you later.