Today we lay to rest our final soul. Like in the epic film The Highlander, there can be only one. And from the land of liberty and cheesesteaks comes our latest, a loser in the battle of recent versus historical glory. Defenders of a crown, descendants of champions, they fell woefully short to a machine funded by dollars and led by the beasts of ancient Greece and modern Japan. Done in by the steady beating of Godzilla and a Minotaur.
To the 2009 Philadelphia Phillies:
You started off with a bang
A new acquisition accused of cheating
That slowly faded away
But yet you kept on leading
Out from the shadows came another source of power
Found worth hitting stride at the right time
Then came two aces from above
Bearers of the title of best
One the southpaw hurler from the land of Cleve
The other an ancient wizard wishing for old magic
They brought you to precipice of greatness
But alas when you need it the most, you got the least
For that, dear soul, despite your valiant try
I must say, May You Rest In Peace.